Thou Shalt not Judge

As the summer is upon us anyone that knows me knows that I have been discussing up coming family events: my older brother's wedding and the arrival of my new child. This past weekend was my brothers fiancee's bridal shower, only my mother went. I come from a very big family - 10 brothers and sisters between my mom and dad (17 all together).

I have an older sister, let's call her Francine, who is married. She lives in the same state as my mom and dad and has 2 children, 1 my sons age and another little boy who's about 2 now. She NEVER brings her children to see my mom and dad, yet she always takes them to her mother in-laws house. Now mind you, Francine grew up, in my eyes, as one of the favorites as my mom and dad (esp dad) spoiled her ass. Given the attention she got why wouldn't she be more willing to come see her mom so that she could enjoy the company of her grand-kids? My son is at the house every weekend; even when I lived on the West Coast his mother made sure she brought him by. Now I'm going to be honest, and you can ask my own family, I'm the type of person that keeps to myself but to keep my son from seeing and knowing his grandparents....nope.

See as my mom would say, my family suffers from 'class prejudice'. My soon to be sister-in-law had her bridal shower, and as I stated earlier, only my mother attended. None of my sisters went because, to be quite frank and honest, they are all to bitchy and boogie to go. Francine's husband grew up in my home town in the projects, his mother remarried an accountant so they have a little money. Francine is always up under his side of the family, especially her mother in-law but what about her own mother? She worked two jobs, raised her, and gave her an opportunity to have the life that she has. Is this how she repays her, by not giving her the 'god' given right to see her grandchildren? My mother calls daily to say hi to her grand-kids, yet she never sees them. She always has to hear 'French' say , my mother in-law this and my mother in law that. My mom doesn't say/show it but I know it hurts her feelings. My mom's house isn't a big, beautiful, fancy place but we all grew up here. And hell, if you grew up here why can't your kids even visit? Here's a hypothetical situation, if Francine's husband's mom didn't re-marry and was still a single mom w/o the big house, husband, and income would she be all in her ass like she is now?

I have noticed how 'American' families, black families especially aren't necessarily as ambitious as say black Caribbean families. All too often black American families have a select few people that may have good careers and a college education while the rest lead mediocre lives. BUT, when they get together, they aren't judgmental and they truly have a good time enjoying being a family. My family is of Jamaican decent, I was the last one born in Jamaica. All of my siblings, except for myself, have been to college. I mean they have great careers, are college educated, and some have their own families, like Francine and my other sister Abigail. But when it comes to our family as a whole it seems as if we are all illiterate.

After yesterday's incident I really felt compelled to figure out where the problem lies. Why does my family have to be so judgmental of people and of their own family? Why can't we just live and let live? Now this isn't all about Francine, almost all of my older siblings are boogie. Last year for my mom's birthday, Francine and Abigail argued over money, shopping, household,...etc. They put their own competition above my moms happiness and event. To this day they do not talk, eventhough they have kids (whom are cousins). If you were to come by my house on the weekend you would think my mom only had 1 grandchild, my son. Granted Abigail will bring her infant around, esp as he gets older, but Francine NEVER will. She was upset with me yesterday because she was on the phone with my mom and I said out loud, "tell her to bring your grand-kids to see you". Her response was "you never call me." What the f*ck, bitch I'm not the grandparent, your mom is! Your hurting her not me, it's disrespectful and a f*cking slap in the face. I personally don't fuck with Francine for this very reason, the bitch wants us to come to her house, I'm guessing because my mom's crib isn't as boogie as hers or her mother-in-laws.

Back to my brother's fiancee's wedding shower or w/e. I have more sisters than brothers....none of my boogie ass, I'm better than you sisters went and that's just hilarious. My girlfriend is from Harlem, NY. Now, she is the first in her family to graduate from college, and trust me she is boogie too (lmao), but ALL of her family: aunts, uncles, grandchildren and great grandchildren frequently visit her grannie's house. Christmas eve was amazing, it made me kind of jealous that they can come together as a family, laugh, crack jokes and show love without prejudice. My siblings swear they are better than people, especially black Americans. My sister can date/marry them but despise their 'ghetto, dirty' families. What the fuck is wrong with them you ask?! Well... I haven't the slightest idea. See what they (my fam) doesn't understand is that they aren't taking their degree, marriage, money or fancy material shit to the grave. We come from a large family and we don't get to enjoy it.

I don't know where I'm going with this, hearing my mother talk inspired me to start typing away on my Blackberry. Now to be fair to Francine I want to reiterate that she, Abigail, Mark, Monique, Gyllian and Danielle are uppity elitist people and it needs to stop! Antonio and my sister down in Florida are very down to earth people. Matthew is too, lol, for the most part and of course myself, but at the end of the day we are all judgmental in some form or fashion, my girlfriend in Harlem knows this very well.

Things my siblings say: black people are so ghetto, eeew they are so dirty, fucking Yankees, etc. Mark last night on his way to his fiancee's bridal shower said "dirty ass brooklyn." Well, you're marrying someone from there and you love her, why can't you love/accept where she's from? Don't get me wrong, she's boogie too. Once they were moving and Matthew brought a friend to help them move, his fiancee wasn't comfy with this and asked that the friend watch the truck. Matthew was hella tight and left, he didn't finish helping them because to him that was disrespectful, especially since they could have used the help...they were to good for it, above it.

Abigail, according to my mother, is at my cousins house today. He is married to a doctor (which is why she's there) if he wasn't I highly doubt she'd be hanging out with them/him. Hmm, I need another example...oh my sister Monique has a boyfriend she lives with and she is soooo judgmental of her boyfriend's American family, but then again Monique has been like this since she was a kid...she's always thought she is better than people.

My sister Gyllian is a huge germaphobe, she vacuums her car 10 times a week because of her 'dirty American' friends. Anyway, that's my dysfunctional family, wish we could be closer and not so judgmental. Live and let live ya know?!